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You do WHAT?

March 21, 2013

Faithful readers know I am quite open with my kids. I want them to know about the world’s agony and for their hearts to be in tuned to its needs.

But even I have a boundary. Sex.

The books that come to our door, all nicely concealed in Amazon boxes, must be whisked away from little eyes. They are hidden on top of shelves, like the x-rated material that they are. Trainings and meetings we have learned to vaguely represent, our laptops locked, and now even my husband’s phone snatched away from a game-seeker because of certain photos of client’s drawings.

We are immersed in sex. It has become a calling. Last week’s trip to Abuse Helpers Training in Seattle… um, just a conference where Dad went to school.

But when Mom leaves the house at 8pm on Friday night, with an anxious look to Dad, the almost teen is too keenly observant to let it go. “Where is she going?”

And the choice we all must make, at various times, over various issues… when and how much of the truth do we tell our kids?

Mom goes to strip clubs.
Mom trains people on domestic sex trafficking.
Dad counsels people who have suffered sexual abuse.
We are researching the extent of such abuse in the country we all love, Turkey.
We are becoming experts in the field of… sexual trauma.

Who is ready to hear that? The almost 13 year old? The 10 year old who doesn’t even like the word ‘cancer?’ The 7 year old who can’t handle death?

So we live duplicitous lives. And test the waters. Can the oldest handle ‘sex trafficking?’ Would the 10 year old freak out with a slavery comparison, leaving out the worst part? And can either hear a thing and keep it from the youngest?

The words of a respected professor haunt me: You are entering great darkness, where the enemy thrives. You will suffer. Your children will suffer. Is it fair to continue, while they are oblivious, too young to even ask?

Today I am comforted by Psalm 7:9-11, “You know every heart and mind, and you always do right. Now make violent people stop, but protect all of us who obey you. You, God, are my shield, the protector of everyone whose heart is right. You see that justice is done, and each day you take revenge.”

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